Why did the chicken cross the road?

Richard Feynman: It didn't cross the road to the other side. It actuallycame back to where it started but was momentarily moving backward in time.
Jean Foucault: It didn’t. The rotation of the earth made it appear to cross.
Karl Gauss: Because of the magnetic personality of the rooster on theother side.
Hawking:
A1: The first seconds made the universe in such a way thatchickens cross the road.
A2: There exist numerous parallel universes in which the same chicken is indiffering stages of crossing the road. Only when one of the chickens hascompleted crossing the road do their ave functions coallesce.
Werner Heisenberg: (1) We are not sure which side of the road the chicken wason, but it was moving very fast.
2) It was uncertain if it could make it, but wanted to try on generalprinciples. (3) Because the chicken is moving very fast, you can either observe thechicken or you can measure the chicken, but you cannot do both.(4) We could tell you how it crossed the road, but we couldn't tell you where.
Gustav Hertz: Lately, its been crossing with greater frequency.
Newton:1) Chickens at rest tend to stay at rest. Chickens in motion tend to cross the road.2) It was pushed on the road.3) It was pushed on the road by another chicken, which went away from the road.4) It was attracted to a chicken on the other side of the road.I have not yet found the cause of this behaviour of the chicken, based onthe phenomenons and I do not make hypotheses.No doubt the ancients knew why the chicken crossed the road and I amstudying the bible and try to rediscover their mathematics to find out whythe chicken crossed the road.I wrote a manuscript on chickens crossing the road a few years back. It isin a drawer somewhere and I will send it to you as soon as I find it, dearHalley.
Ohm:
A: There was more resistance on this side of the road.
A2: She resisted the idea at first.
Pascal: It was pressured to cross the road.
Volta
A: The other side had more potential.
There was a potential difference in her future on theother side.